7396 – Journal 7396

I feel right now although I really have become inlightened. I realized now that I misspelled this, but did not correct it (and in fact corrected the auto-correction) because as Dali says, mistakes are sublime. Mistakes are felt, and feeling is the highest form of thinking. I feel I have taken the light in and I have truly connected and bridged myself a bit more through to the world (out from a six year old me). When you are open to ideas, you see them everywhere. If I want to start a company manufacturing notebooks, all I have to do is to find the manufacturers and designers in Chapters, and call them.

I have felt separate from a society in a long way. I have taken that to be a bad thing. It really is not. My happiest times have been when I felt totally out of step, which allows me to feel in step with myself. I was back in Florida on the 2017 trip, and I was wearing awfully baggy and unfashionable clothes, and walking around target and drawing and drinking icees and going to panera bread and sleeping on the couch and constantly having all these ideas. Real ideas — for monsters, robots, head explosion special effects – not filtered to-be-classy ideas. I had a great resolve to direct a B movie, because why the hell wouldn’t I? And I had a dream where DaVinci and Bucky visited me, and said I was on the right track. (I often worry about being out of step with Bucky, but, here he was telling me I was alright. And I don’t think it is a coincidence or accident. At the least and most real (so called) and least metaphysical, it was my subconscious’s real opinion of myself.) I can be totally separate. I don’t want to be famous; don’t want to be noteworthy in any sort of a way except to some future cole. And he will recognize him. How wonderful not to be in step with the whole world, with any part of the world at all, except for just a few people; a few people now, a few people then, and even one person five hundred years from now.

— cole